My Experiences as a Father... June 5 to July 4, 1999 (2nd month)

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Sunday, July 4, 1999
2 months old
Today was Maeve's baptism.  She was quiet until the end.  Jill's father did a great job of taking pictures.  They should be back in a week or so.

We went to Boston to see the fireworks.  The cannon that the National Guard was firing kept surprising her, but she didn't mind the fireworks at all.
 

Saturday, July 3, 1999
A shark has no floatation bladder like a fish.  Even a dead fish floats.  If a shark stops swimming, it will sink to the bottom, so sharks have to swim constantly, even when they are asleep.

Sometimes Maeve needs her pacifier to go to sleep.  If we try to take it out, she is still sucking, whether she has been asleep for a few minutes or an hour.  I don't know how she can suck even when she is asleep, but that constant sucking, even she she is asleep, reminds me of a shark.
 

Friday, July 2, 1999
Today was Maeve's 2 month check up.  She was 10.75 lbs and 22.25 inches.  She also got three shots.  After giving them, the doctor told Maeve it was his mean assistant who had given them to her, so she wouldn't hate the doctor.
 

Wednesday, June 30, 1999
Jill's parents arrived today.  Maeve won't look at Jill's father.  When he holds her, she keeps moving her head so she is looking away.  At least she is quiet.

Jill's parents were honeymooned in Boston 40 years ago, and they plan to retrace their steps.  Jill's father even wants to re-take every photo they took 40 years ago.
 

Monday, June 28, 1999

Maeve's hair sticks up after she's slept for a while.  I've ridiculed it enough that Jill tries to wet it down and comb it to the side.  Especially when Maeve wears her "Harley Davidson Rules" t-shirt, she looks like Buddy Lee, Man of Action (the Lee Dungarees cherubic mascot).  She even has that blank stare when you ask a question.  Jill doesn't like me saying her daughter looks like a wooden boy doll, so she is going to get Maeve a new hairstyle.

 

Sunday, June 27, 1999
In Sunday School today we read in the Weekly World News about an Australian man who invented a Spigot Bra.  The picture has a woman with two metal bra cups, each with a faucet sticking out.  "Just turn on the faucet and out comes the milk."  I don't know what kind of blouse Jill would have to wear, but it might be worth a call to Australia.
 

Saturday, June 26, 1999
The Diaper Genie is great, but it fills up too quickly, especially as much as Jill changes diapers.  I think they should come mounted on a 55 gallon rollaway trash can.  That way you only have to empty it when the can is full.

Today I mounted the Diaper Genie on an old chair frame, like I had mentioned before.  I'm happy with it, but Jill wants it hidden in the closet.  She says she will refuse to talk about it if anyone asks.  She even told Maeve that the old saying, "If it looks stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid" isn't always true.  Of course I'll have to explain that cases where it isn't true are very rare.
 

Friday, June 25, 1999
Todd saw the picture of Maeve reading.  He said that if I really want to improve her life (and mine), I wouldn't be teaching her to read now.  I would be teaching her to make her own meals and change her own diaper.  We can spend all weekend on that.
 

Wednesday, June 23, 1999
Jonathan Epstein heard about the blue fuzz pacifier problem.  He said we should live with the screaming for three days, and then she will not want the pacifier any more.
 

Monday, June 21, 1999
Jill and I were talking about names for another child (which I don't plan to need for several years).  We like Austin (my grandfather's name) as a middle name, whether it's a boy or girl.  I like Azriela for a girl, and Vlad (I've always been intrigued by the attitude and determination of Vlad the Impaler) for a boy.  Jill said Vladimir is a good boy's name, and we could call him Vlad.  We'll see if these choices last until then.
 

Sunday, June 20, 1999
This was my first Father's Day.  Maeve gave me a nice card, and helped make me breakfast.  I changed my first diaper.  Ray Cravy said something about how good fathers can change a diaper in 10 seconds with minimal clean up.  Jill said I was close to 10 seconds.
 

Saturday, June 19, 1999
We've been using the pacifier to stop Maeve from crying.  It works for a few moments, and then she spits it out.  She starts crying again until we put it back in her mouth.  But she will just spit it out again.  I'm thinking she needs something like one of those Endotracheal Tube retaining systems, with some sort of strap around her head.
 

Thursday, June 17, 1999
Jill went to the office yesterday for someone else's baby shower.  We had gotten formula samples that we don't plan to use, so Jill took them in to give them away.  The men in her office were asking, "Why are you giving those away?  Aren't you going to need them?"  They were reminded that Jill plans to pump for a year.  They were skeptical, and started making "Mooooo" noises.
 

Wednesday, June 16, 1999
The pacifier quiets Maeve down when she starts crying, but she tries to spit it out for a few seconds, until she decides she wants it.  I had Maeve in the car and she started crying.  I put in the pacifier and put her on my shoulder.  She spit it out and it went behind the driver's seat.  When I picked it up, I instinctively (a father's instinct, that is) rubbed it on my pants to clean it off.  When I checked it for debris, it had blue fuzz, either from the car interior or from my pants.  I thought Maeve could handle it, but I knew that Jill would be really ticked off if she found blue fuzz around Maeve's mouth later, or if Maeve somehow choked on it or something bizarre like that.  Jill is tough on me about things like that.  So I had to suck the pacifier clean.  It didn't help that Maeve was screaming, trying to attract attention.  I don't think anyone saw me.  Most importantly, Maeve was saved from the blue fuzz.
 

Monday, June 14, 1999
Every so often Maeve will grab a handful of her own hair with that walnut-crushing grip of hers, and won't let go.  I am wondering when she will realize she is the one pulling her hair and causing that pain.  On Saturday I didn't think it was worth $10 to get her hair cut, but now I'm not sure.
 

Sunday, June 13, 1999
Maeve gets blue around her mouth when she nurses.  Jill says that's normal.  Where I come from cyanosis is a sign of hypoxia, and I've never thought of that as normal.
 

Saturday, June 12, 1999
Today was Maeve's first bottle feeding.  The information that Jill got was that it was best for dad to give her her first bottle, because she would want to nurse if mom tried it.  Jill was going to get a picture, so she opened the camera bag at the same time I sat down in the rocker with Maeve.  By the time Jill had the camera out and was looking at us (while explaining that Maeve probably wouldn't drink from the bottle while she was in the room), Maeve was sucking like crazy on the bottle.  Jill said Don had told her on Thursday that dad is the fun one; she is only  the milk provider.  I assured her there were plenty of diapers around that she would always be needed.

In the afternoon Jill went out with some church women, abandoning Maeve and I.  We went to the post office, the auto parts store, the car wash, the hardware store and the barber shop.  Just like with the dusting and cleaning on June 1, she pretended to be asleep at the auto parts store and the hardware store, so when I ask her to get me a bolt at the hardware store, she will claim she "doesn't know how"; she "must have been asleep" when I showed her.  Unfortunately for her she woke up at the hardware store.  I told her that now she has no excuse.

She didn't get a haircut with me at the barber shop, and Darrel said she wouldn't get a lollipop anyway, because she is too young.
 

Friday, June 11, 1999
Maeve has been having "fussy" spells that last as long as several hours.   The question of colic vs Jill eating bad foods came up during a discussion with some friends.  Jill admitted that she could correlate these spells with bad foods.  First the friends reassured her that colic is not as benign as a "spell", and second, they told her she had to discard all of the breast milk that she had stored in the freezer.  Now she has to start from scratch.
 

Thursday, June 10, 1999
Maeve visited Jill's office.  We're instilling a good work ethic already.  Jill even did real work while she was there.  The first thing anyone said while she was there was that Maeve looks like Jill's boss.  I'm not sure if that's bad for Maeve, good for him, or something I should look into further.
 

Monday, June 7, 1999
Maeve has no problem letting us know she's hungry.  She starts loudly sucking on her hand, sleeve, blanket, or even our armpit if that's where her mouth happens to be.   She should be able to be just as communicative in letting us know that she needs to go to the bathroom.

When she is changed she will start screaming.  Jill thinks she is cold.  She tries to calm her by saying, "I know, I know, I know."  Jill can't tell me exactly what it is that she knows.   If Maeve hates being changed so much, she should let us know when she needs to go to the bathroom.  Then we could use the toilet like any reasonable person.
 

Sunday, June 6, 1999
We talked today in Sunday School about Maeve smiling while she sleeps, and how she also gets her "scrunchy face" and cries in her sleep.  Bruce Beane said she was dreaming about coloring.   When she smiles it's because she is thinking about enjoying coloring.  Crying happens when she gets mad thinking about someone not sharing the crayons.

Kristi was holding Maeve for most of the class.  She claimed that Maeve cried every time I talked.  I said I thought it was because Kristi was getting tense every time I talked, and that was what Maeve didn't like.  When Maeve started crying and wouldn't stop, I was delegated to take care of her.  As soon as I had her she stopped crying.  I had to stick my tongue out at Kristi to make sure she noticed that Maeve didn't seem to have any problems with me.
 

Saturday, June 5, 1999
Jill said, "If you call her name, she will turn her head and look at you."  So I called out, "Maeve".  Jill sheepishly told me that she doesn't respond to "Maeve"; you have to say "Sweet Pea".
 


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